We ushered the year in with nachos, peach almond champagne, Martinelli's, and just our family. I took Kensie outside and told her to gather all the positive energy in the universe and then bring it back inside for the new year. She said "uh-huh," waved her arms around, then ran inside.
We're still going through a lot. I feel like I've already over-shared here about our money and our nomadic lifestyle and the fear that grips our hearts over Nick's future...So I won't bore you with the specifics again tonight. But it's still just...a lot.
Somehow this year feels hopeful, and I hope my psychic skills are working. I'm ready for a good year!
I feel a little like this baby...bringing some 2011, 2012, and 2013 baggage along with me into 2014, but I don't think that's all terrible. Once you've gone through cancer (yourself, a loved one, your BABY), you never really move forward without carrying that with you. Those bags are packed with pain, but they're also packed with appreciation, hope, and compassion that we might not have had with such passion if we hadn't had the cancer.
Some really amazing people have lost their battles with cancer this year...Most recently, Loren Nancarrow, a local newscaster and blogger and brain cancer victim and all around good guy. He inspired so many of us to look outside of ourselves and give more...focus on the truly important things in life. When 2013 started, he didn't even know he was sick.
What do we not know about 2014?
I've been sipping peach almond champagne and reading Facebook, and I'm really feeling the pain parents like Jessie's, Liam's, Talia's, and Bella's parents are feeling. There are so many today. Photos of healthy babies with full heads of hair...Gone. Just gone.
I pray God guides me even more in prosperous times than lean times to do everything I can to help and support childhood cancer charities and the oncology families that so need and deserve financial and emotional assistance.
Truth be told, I also pray that we do not face recurrence in Nick. When we were actually going through his treatment, I was just angry and sad and exhausted. I can do so much more good now...now when I'm not in the trenches...when my heart isn't being ripped out of my chest every moment of every day in quite the same way it is when Nick, my child, my baby, is yellow and skinny and bald and frail and fragile and in imminent danger of death.
I feel hopeful about 2014. I think we will see more prosperity as business owners, a family, and as a nation. I pray that prosperity means we will have more research and more cures in the cancer world.
Happy New Year! I really hope that whatever your situation is when you read this, you either provide help and share your heart or you accept the love and the resources available to you if you're in need.
2014 is unwritten. Let's write a story of joy, and love, and generosity...and cures for childhood cancers!!
